May 11th

Today is Mother’s Day.  Ironically I found this piece, written March 11, 2008, today.

At times I want so badly to feel my mother’s skin.  To have her touch my face with her weathered and tired hands.  I want to smell her sweaty aroma, made possible thanks to the muggy Korean heat. 

As I write this I wonder what she is doing.  It’s 3 pm tomorrow in Korea, 9 pm here.  What does she do in the afternoons?  Is she taking a solitary walk?  Or is she chatting with an old friend in our  hometown?  Perhaps she is at the market with plans to make an early dinner. 

I want to see her again before she passes.  But what if she leaves the earth before this desire is fulfilled?  There will always be longing.  It is possible, that after we meet again I will not stop yearning for one more encounter, one more chance to have her touch and scent permeate my senses.

She has told me that she always wished to have kept me and never stopped loving me.  I believe her.  She gave me life and meeting her helped me to regain a portion of myself that had been dormant and missing for so long. 

Someday she will go.  I just don’t want it to be quite yet.  It’s because I love her.