Thoughts on NY

Okay, I can’t believe I am doing this, but I am going to NY.  I have debated (several times a day) whether to stay in Cali or go after my “dream” and live in NY.  I have so many excuses as to why I should stay in Los Angeles.  The weather is great.  I feel as if I’ve been cold for about 80% of my life and am just now beginning to warm up and properly regulate my body’s temperature.  There is so much to do here.  Great beaches to visit, weekend trips to San Fran or San Diego…but the truth of the matter is I feel a probing to migrate to the east coast.  I don’t have a solid reason why.  I’ve just always had this desire (since nursing school) to live in NYC, which I guess is reason in itself.  Being here has awakened me to the fact that I desire to make roots.  I love to explore and visit new places and working as a travel nurse has helped me grow both professionally and personally, but I need to find a place that I can call home, at least for a few years. 

Honestly, moving to New York scares me more than I care to admit.  It is perhaps even more nerve racking than going to Korea and meeting my birth mother.  (Yeah, really).  And so, I feel that this alone is why I should not take the “easy” way out and stay in LA.  One of my biggest fears is having regrets, and I don’t want to make that fear my reality.  Tomorrow I will probably wake up and still try to convince myself that staying in Cali is a good idea.  I’ll probably continue to do just that until I leave LA and maybe even after I am back in Seattle.  But ultimately I don’t feel that I belong here.  This is not my niche.  If NY had LA’s weather there would be no question whatsoever where I belong.  JFK would definitely be my next destination. 

All I really want is to feel at peace with my decision.  Today while I was at church I prayed for just that, and immediately I felt God saying, “If you choose to go; I’ll take care of you.”  I can’t really ask for much more.  So if the promise is there, I can’t pass this opportunity up.  I’ll just buy a new coat for the winter and anticipate a high electric bill.