“Too Much Information”
The Scene: Friday night, Joey’s Bar in Bellevue, approximately 9 pm, having a drink with my girlfriend.
The Conversation: Relationships (hers not mine), moving, traveling, a bit of gossip, basic girl chatter.
The Situation: An Asian guy approaches our table and immediately asks if he can take a seat. We both give him a blank stare. He proceeds to say that he saw us in the restaurant. Total confusion. We were never in the restaurant portion of Joey’s.
“No the Korean restaurant (which is several miles away). I saw you (he looks at me) and thought you were really beautiful. And you (looks at my friend) were waiting for her to show. ”
Ahh…yes, now this is starting to make more sense. Immediately a light bulb goes off in my head, and I remember a guy sitting at the table across from us whom out of the corner of my eye I notice is continually glancing in our direction. When he gets up to leave he gives us one more look before heading out the door.
“May I sit down? I’m new here (works for Microsoft China). I just want to meet some people and talk.”
My friend allows this. I’m still in shock, but frankly don’t mind too much. I’ve got to admit, it was brave of him to approach our table. Plus, it’s easy to gather that he has no friends, and he did after all call me beautiful.
He explains that he works for Microsoft in China and this is the fifth time work has brought him to the area. He is from Shanghai.
Despite his heavy accent, this guy is an incessant talker. He basically keeps the conversation going all by himself. My friend and I give him yes and no answers while he continues to babble away and then shoot us more questions. Unfortunately I have trouble understanding him so I have to interrupt about every third sentence so that it can be repeated. Eventually the questions start to get a little strange.
He asks if we are going to go dancing because he heard of a lounge called Vertigo that is nearby. We don’t answer his question, but just continue to let him talk. He’s really good at it and clearly enjoying himself.
“I like to dance (does some sort of jiggle with his upper body while seated in the booth). Makes me feel so good and free. I feel my best when I dance. What activity makes you feel your best? I want to know.”
He looks at me first, but I tell him that I have to think about it. My friend tells him that his question is very serious and personal. I agree and jokingly say that I’ll have to drink more before I can answer. He doesn’t get the joke, and I find him intensely gazing at me, waiting for an answer. Okay, next topic….
“Starbucks in Shanghai is very popular. Maybe three times as big as this place (he points around the bar area). It is a place where boy meets girl and things can happen.”
Things can happen? “You mean guys and girls chat and then start to date or do you mean guys and girls chat and then head off to the bathroom together (again I’m joking, but he’s obviously having trouble understanding my humor)?”
“Head off to the bathroom together.”
Oh…okay, well if I ever find myself in a Shanghai Starbucks paying $7 for a latte then I’ll remember to refrain from using the facilities.
“What is the craziest thing you’ve done? I want to know.”
It just keeps getting better, doesn’t it? I’m not sure what he means by “crazy.” I tell him that I’m not too crazy. I only did “crazy” things back in the day. He doesn’t understand what back in the day means. I explain. He just looks at me, he wants an answer. My sympathy for his lack of friends and loneliness in this country is quickly dissipating. I want him to go away.
“Do you have boyfriend?”
My friend says that she does, but I don’t.
I quickly counter that I do.
More awkwardness sets in, so I decide to change the subject. Since he already indirectly brought up sex I ask (because I like to learn new facts about places) about sex education in China, use of oral contraception, the birth rate etc. “Because I’m a nurse, I’d like to know.” He proceeds to tell us that contraception is widely used and for the most part socially acceptable. “There are big signs on the subways (with his arms makes the shape of a big sign) that advertise condoms. I had a girlfriend in China. We used the condom. ”
Oh gosh, bad judgement in asking that question.
“But I waited until after university to have sex.”
What did I do to deserve the acquisition of this information?
“I want to know. What is the craziest thing you’ve done?”
“I’m sorry I don’t understand your question.”
“You know, like have you had a one night stand. I want to know. You are so beautiful. If I saw you on the Internet I’d want to date you.”
“Umm…that’s a very personal question, one you really should not ask someone.”
“Oh sorry….May I have your cell number?”
“She has a boyfriend!”
Heavy awkwardness.
I get the check and pay the bill. The guy whose name I do not even know is still sitting at our table. I refuse to leave my credit card slip and foolishly walk it up to one of the servers. I want him to have absolutely no identifying information about me. He’s “techy,” he admits to looking for girls online, enough said.
My friend and I head off to another bar so that we can destress and talk about what just transpired. She needs to have a glass of wine, and I need to lay my hands on some chocolate. That guy totally creeped me out. He should have at least had some respect for my imaginary boyfriend! After all, he could have shown up at any time and been very displeased with all the ways in which the guy was disrespecting us and want to “settle” things. And just for the record, my imaginary boyfriend would have won, hands down!
